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Ebony babe Marie Luv has a tiny waist but huge tits and ass




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I think God is communicating with me through my dreams?
i have this disturbing reoccuring dream, in it, Miss Piggy is doing a strip tease, I get scared, and run out of the room, she runs after me as fast as her trotters can carry her.  Suddenly, kate beckinsale drops to the ground at my feet, wearing that insanely hot leather outfit all attractive women with nice ****, a firm *** and slim stomach should wear.  I get this massive errection, and it slow me down, Miss Piggy is catching up.  I drag my engorged shlong over the side of a bridge, and it pulls me over, just before i hit the water, kate beckinsale seems like she is about to start making passionate love to kiera knightly, but i can't see because Miss Piggy is blocking the view.  I start to scream, and then wake up. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
it means you got problems
Guys personal preference: boobs or butt?
Would you rather have a girl with a round, but firm a** or big **** and a small or flat butt?

Personally, I'm tall and thin with barely any boobs but I have a really nice *** and long legs. Are you more attracted to the chest and stomach area or butt and leg area?
I'm a latino...so it goes without saying I LOVE A$$!!!!

If the girl is a bit curvy (hour glass figure), accentuating a bigger then normal butt w/o looking fat, I find it INSANELY hot!!!!!
Simple but funny lmao.?
Two guys are moving about in a huge supermarket when they collide.

One says to the other, "I'm sorry - I was actually looking for my wife."

"What a coincidence, the other guy responded, "I'm looking for my wife as well, and I'm getting a little desperate."

"Well," said the first guy, "Maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

"She's tall, with long red hair, long firm legs, huge **** and a very nice tight ***. What's your wife look like?"

"Never mind," said the other guy enthusiastically, "Let's look for yours!"
who needs the comedy club when you can be entertained like this - good one again - lol
Some more cos every1 is soo nice today?
sorry some are a little long, but well worth it!


Diagnosis

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only costs you $10.00."

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:

1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.

He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:

1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using cocaine.
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop masturbating, your elbow will never get better


Pee By Number


A mother taught her son to go to the bathroom by the numbers.

"1. Open your fly. 2. Take out your equipment. 3. Pull back the skin. 4. Do your business. 5. Let the skin forward. 6. Stow your equipment. 7. Close your fly."

She checked on him often to make sure he had learned his lesson, and each time heard him through the outhouse door saying, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. 7."

She was pleased with his progress until that day when she passed the bathroom door and heard, "3-5, 3-5, 3-5."


Monkey stuff


A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

"No. What did that stupid **** do this time?" says the patron.

"Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole" says the bartender.

"Yeah, well I hope it kills the ****** because he's been driving me nuts" says the patron.

The guy finishes his drink and leaves.

Two weeks later he comes back with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds some peanuts on the bar. He grabs one, sticks it up his ***, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.

"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"What now?" responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a peanut up his ***, then pulled it out and ate it" says the bartender.

"Well, what do you expect?" replied the patron. "Ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!!!"


Firm Believer


One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought, and replied with silence.

The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the tit and said,"You know if you firmed these up we could ge rid of your bra."

This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the dick. With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the pool man and your brother.


The Spoon!

A man and his wife were in a fancy resturant. While ordering, they noticed that the waiter had a spoon in his shirt pocket, and after looking around, they observed the other waiters and busboys each had a similar spoon. So the husband says, "what's with the spoon?"
The waiter said,"well, we had this company come in and evaluate our time management and they found that people drop their spoon 74.8% more often than any other utensil. So if we carry one with us, we can reduce the trips back to the kitchen by 3 hours per shift.
The husband was impressed. Sure enough, he dropped his spoon during dinner and the waiter replaced it with his, stating, "I'll just get another when I go to the kitchen for something else". While ordering dessert, the husba
There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed. The manager said "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution." The engineer said "No that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it." The programmer said "I think you're both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."
Exercising question?
hey yall. is there a exercize i can to to make my brests firmer? i got fake **** like 2 months ago, and i feel like they may be sagging some. IDEAS?


AND NO SMART *** ANSWERS!!!
seriously you should do chest press and push ups stuff like that
A BAD AMERICAN? you tell me. is this untrue, or unfair?
I am a BAD American.

I like big cars, big guns, and big ****. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squeezing out babies.

I don't think playing with guns makes you a killer. I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. I don't care if you call me a racist, a homophobe or a misogynist. I know that no matter how big Jennifer Lopez's *** gets, I'll still want to see it.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac in America, you do it in English. I don't use the excuse "it's for the guyren" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions. I want to know when MTV became such crap.

I know what the definition of "is" is. I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet. I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osborne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang. I think that being an art student doesn't give you any more insight than working at Blockbuster. I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, and they can do it in their schools. I think the WNBA is cool, as is the US Womens' Soccer Team - because they kick ***. My heroes are John Wayne, Winston Churchill, Ronald Reagan, Norman Schwartzkopf, Colin Powell and whoever canceled "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman".

I think creative violence and useless nudity and sex makes Iraqis deader and movies more interesting.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I think global warming is Chicken Little junk science.

I've never owned or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-hell-up already.

Rocky and Bullwinkle still makes me laugh. I think you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing them. I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a 6 year old with a Play Station.

I want to know exactly which church it is where the Rev. Jesse Jackson preaches.

I think explosions are cool. I don't care where Ellen DeGeneres puts her tongue. I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry *** if you're running from them. I thought Spinal Tap was great, but Rob Reiner can still kiss my ***.

I worry about dying before I get even.

I like the convenience of buying oranges while I'm waiting at a stoplight, and I'm pretty sure the Latina girl selling them to me is glad she no longer lives in a refrigerator packing carton outside Ensenada.

I figured out Bruce Willis was dead midway through The Sixth Sense but enjoyed it anyway.

I think turkey bacon sucks.

I want somebody to explain to me exactly why it's wrong to point out that when I watch a freeway chase, I know the losers the police eventually pull out of the car are not gonna be honor roll middle-class high school guys but gang-banging losers from the wrong side of town.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a guy, it takes a parent with a firm voice and a firmer hand. I think tattoos and piercings are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement and not a fad. I like hard women, hard liquor and a hard bowel movement first thing in the morning, and don't even think about asking me if I want a rice cake.

I believe you don't have to speak with a lisp to pick out a couch for your living room.

I'll admit that the only movies that ever made me cry was "Sands of Iwo Jima" and "Ole Yeller". I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a guy.

I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

YES, I am a BAD American.
How do you feel about running for President ;-)

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